Completed my last day of high school about 7 hours ago.
Psycho Runaway
I used to beat myself up trying not to let the people around me down. The truth is I’m not letting anyone down if I do what I want. You and your opinion about me surpass irrelevance. I’m not depressed because to be depressed, you have to feel. I don’t feel anything at all. When I say “I wouldn’t mind dying” and that “I’m so bored with life beyond comprehension” I really mean it. All of you leave me alone. Let me sit in silence and soak up silence and befriend silence. I want to think for myself. Then other times I don’t want to think at all. I want the darkness to seep into every fiber of my being. I want to sit and do nothing and be happy. What is happiness? Can I be numb and happy? If not, I’d rather be numb. Numb. The only thing I want from this life is to not torture my mental. I lose sanity each time I try figuring out whether or not I have control over mental torturing. At the moment, I feel like ignoring all human life for who knows how long. I want to talk to plants.
